Omark “Classless” Says Embarassed Goaltender

In the December 10th shootout victory over the Tampa Bay Lightning, Edmonton Oilers forward Linus Omark became the subject of controversy after Tampa goaltender Dan Ellis referred to his shootout spin move as “classless.”

This is what he looks like when he's not making your goaltender consider alcoholism as a career path.

When asked for further comment, Ellis went on to explain that Omark’s spin move immediately after picking up the puck at the red line lacked the class shown by most other shooters, who at least pretend that the goaltender will present them with some sort of obstacle.

The rest of the Lightning locker room agreed with Ellis’ assertion that opposing shooters should extend him the courtesy of pretending that he’ll be a challenge to them. One anonymous Tampa player elaborated “I mean, sure, they’re probably going to torch him, but at least let him think he’s got a chance, y’know? Like how in practice Stamkos just shoots at his pads so we don’t have to replace the nets for wear and tear as much.”

Edmonton Oilers coach Tom Renney told reporters that he could see why Tampa would be upset by the play, but his team won, so the Bolts could suck it. He also added that if the spin move actually contributed to Ellis biting on the faked slapper that beat him then Ellis should be counting his millions and squeeling with glee at his agent’s shrewdness instead of whining to the media.

When reached for comment about the controversy, Omark noted that he had already used that move twice in the last week with no complaints from American Hockey League goalies who weren’t fooled by the completely unnecessary spin. He also added that he felt he did show some respect for the goaltender by not attempting a new move he’s been working on which purportedly results in the goaltender spontaenously wetting his pants.

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